Willingness to Surrender to Him!

I can't believe it is July already. Today is my youngest son, Christopher's birthday. He turns 21 today, and it is so hard for me to believe that many years have gone by since he was born.

Sunday at church the message was on surrendering and giving everything to the Lord. The message was about Abraham and his being willing to sacrifice his only son out of obedience.

Abraham was willing to do this, give his promised and only son as a sacrifice to the Lord simply because the Lord told him too. Of course the Lord didn't allow him to actually go through it. But what faith Abraham was required to have, to be willing to give up what he loved most in his life.

The Bible doesn't tell us what went through Abraham's mind, but it does tell us when Isaac asked his father where the lamb for the sacrifice was, Abraham simply said, "God will provide". I think he knew the Lord well enough to know that either the Lord would raise his son from the dead should Abraham actually be required to sacrifice his son, or He knew the Lord well enough to know He would honor Abraham's willing heart to obey and provide another "lamb". Either way he had the faith and trust within to obey even though it may mean losing someone he loved.

The message was all about being willing to make sacrifices of what we hold important should the Lord ask us to. It was also about being willing to trust the Lord enough to surrender everything to Him, knowing God is God and we are "to love the Lord our God with ALL our hearts and ALL our souls." It's the first commandment and maybe even the hardest to obey at times.

As human beings we are not always willing to give up our comfort or our possessions even if it means doing so will bring us closer to our Lord or bring someone unsaved to the Lord. It's a form of selfishness..."I have what I have and I am not willing to give any of it up."

We have a hard time truly understanding and accepting ALL things belong to the Lord to begin with, everything we have is on loan from Him and giving it back to Him shows we realize this principle.

When the Pastor was giving the message I was remind of when my oldest son Jason became ill when he was nine months old.

He started running a very high fever, and nothing would bring it down. We finally had to take him to the hospital as nothing the doctors told us to do would bring it down.

By the time we arrived at the hospital, Jason was beet red, literally. His eyes became glazed over and it was like he wasn't there. They took him in the room and asked me to leave so they could examine him. The moment I left, Jason went into violent convulsions.

They had to do a spinal tape on him, when they let me back into the room, I sat there looking at my little son, covered in cold cloth, shaking and out of it. He was so little and there was nothing I could do to help him.

The worst feeling any parent can ever experience is that helplessness of not being able to do anything to help your child and not knowing if that child is going to survive.

As I sat there watching his little body shake, I began to cry and pray for him. I remember it vividly as if it was yesterday.

"Lord, please heal my son. You gave him to me and I don't want to lose him. Please Lord don't take my son. But Father I surrender him to you, and if it is Your will to take him now, not my will but Thine."

This was my exact prayer, and the moment I said "not my will but thine", I felt as if I could literally feel the arms of the Lord envelop me. I cannot even begin to describe the peace that instantly filled my soul. I knew no matter what happened it was going to be ok and should the Lord take my son I would someday see him again.

Yet inside I knew Jason was going to be ok and the Lord honored my prayer to heal him because I was, at that moment, willing to let Jason go if that was what the Lord so chose.

The following day Jason had several seizures, but I continued to trust the Lord to take care of him. We had the pastor from our church at the time come and pray for him. The nurses watched this with a kind of "what the heck are they doing" look.

They never did figure out what caused the fever. All the tests they ran were negative and a couple of days later Jason was released and came home.

Ever since that day, when things happen beyond my control I am reminded of that day. That if we are willing to truly trust the Lord and surrender our desires to Him regardless of what it may cost us, He will honor that faith and no matter what happens, He is always with us and knowing that we can overcome anything that comes into our lives.

That day Jason became "my Isaac", and as Abraham did I had to be willing for God's will not mine. The Lord has plans for Jason's life as well as all my children and I can rest and trust in that no matter what it may look like.