This attitude completely contradicts the teachings of the Lord. He tells us we should put others first, that we are to behave with compassion, kindness and humility. "Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience." Colossians 3:11-13
I saw very little christian attitude or behavior at our game last night(6/16/08) on both teams. And the reason....because people put winning above ALL else. Here is the scenario of the disgraceful attitudes and behavior at our game, which by the way, was between two teams from OUR church.
It was the bottom of the first inning, we were up to bat and had seven runs and one out. A couple of runs earlier, the short stop on the other teams was in the base line when our runner decided to go for third base and they collided, our runner made it to third base. This person decided our runner was out because he didn't "have to run" and he and the third baseman got to the base at the same time. The coach of their team called it a tie and gave the base to the runner.
Our next batter got up to bat, hit the ball and started to run, third base runner was headed home, all of the sudden during the play the Short Stop began to yell..."you guys lose.... you forfeit the game a member of your team is smoking a cigarette, that is against the rules, you guys loose."
An argument broke out. This person who tried to call the game also smokes and had done so before the game. Also before the game several of our team members had a cigarette, in the open with the other team well aware of it. Yet at that time they nor their short stop seemed to have a problem with it..not until they were down 8 runs and we only had one out!
(Now before I go any further, all those who have issues with smoking, yes I know smoking is bad for you and people shouldn't smoke, I also know that most Christians think it is a sin...that is a debate I'm not going to get into right now. The issue is not the smoking, the issue is bad sportsmanship, hypocrisy and putting winning above EVERYTHING including Christ.)
Anyway, after their Short Stop interrupted the game, which by the way was the WRONG way to do it, he should have called a time out and talked to his coach, who should have the talked to our coach and made a decision. But because this person is overly competitive and didn't like the possibility of losing he chose to use the issue to call a technical loss on the our team.
Now like I said earlier, there were a couple of people on the opposing team who had been smoking before the game started, and there were a couple of people on our team who had been smoking before the game, yet there was no cry of "technical forfeit" because of it UNTIL we were ahead by almost 8 runs with one out.
Once the game was interrupted everyone got very upset, not at the idea of losing on our part, because after all we haven't won a game yet..and we just want to play the game and have fun...the anger was because of the total hypocrisy of this guy trying to call the game for something he obviously did not have a problem with before the game started. And because the person he accused of smoking was in fact, NOT smoking but had gone to the car to get his water several members of our team got very angry.
We have a lot of new believers on our team and there are a couple who still struggle with anger. One of our team members has a temperament that he is still learning to control when angry. When the short stop interrupted the game with his yelling, this person on our team got very angry, throwing his glove, hitting his own car with a bat and saying he was done and was leaving. Not a Christlike reaction.
Our coach (who is John y hubby, by the way) and several other people pulled this person aside and calmed him down. They agreed he would sit out the rest of the game and he willing going to do so. In the mean time members of the other team were what the bible calls "backbiting" our team amongst themselves. The short stop continued to run his mouth. All of which was overheard by members of our team.
The person on our team who lost his temper had calmed down and it appeared we might be able to continue the game. Next thing I hear... the other coach's wife walks over and say that now members of their team are leaving because our angry member swore during his fit of rage. (Now this was AFTER both coaches decided the continue the game). Next thing we hear is they will continue playing but only if we start completely over and not count the runs we already had made. On hearing that, tempers on our team started getting hot again and people walked off saying ...that was it they were done playing.
Both coaches walked off the field away from everyone to discuss what was going on and no sooner than when they were away from the teams, the short stop as well as other members of the opposing team continued to talk among themselves making comments and insults about our team.
The person on our team who lost control earlier was getting angry again and the short stop continued to "run his mouth" directed at this person. Next thing I know, the guy on our team lunged at their short stop and grabbed him by the neck, two people from our team and a couple from their team intervened and pulled them apart, restraining both.
We were all in shock to see this happening, especially since before the game everyone was looking forward to playing this team because it is a team from our church and the coach is part of our small group. What we expected to be a fun game turned into nothing short of a brawl! So much for fellowship!
The police were called by the other coach's wife, and John called our Pastor, who came to the field. Even after most of the people left, the short stop continued running his mouth, members from his team who were waiting for the Pastor and the police continued to "backbite" everyone on our team amongst themselves in whispers, which were overheard by a couple of our team members who were standing on the other side of the bushes by the table.
Our team members continued to talk amongst themselves and stay away from the other team. Some of our team members were discussing the hypocrisy of the whole thing.
One of the female members from the other team wandered over and sort of hovered around those of us who were talking. She then began talking to one of our female members, who in turn told her she was not involved in the whole thing and did not want to be involved it. This woman continued to talk at her, which made Chris angry because this woman singled out our team member for no reason other than she is related to the guy who grabbed the other guy.
Our team member told her she did not want to hear it nor talk about it. She wouldn't stop, so because Chris is this person's friend got even more angry. At which point because Chris' friend knows his triggers, she grabbed Chris' arm and led him away so he would not lose his self control.
This woman from the other team proceeded to follow Chris and his friend and yell "bring it on" trying to get him and her to turn around and participate in the conflict.
I yelled out at her and told her she needed to back off because getting in Chris' face when he is already that angry was not a wise thing to do. Finally someone from her team came over and grabbed her by the arm and told her to walk away. We found out later her version of the story was completely different from the truth.. Not Christlike!
Our Pastor showed up, unfortunately the short stop and other members of the other team had left choosing not to wait for him. He was NOT happy, in fact he was very disappointed that anyone of his church members would be so wrapped up into winning that they would behave so ungodly over something so trivial as a stupid softball game!
Both sides were wrong in reacting in anger. The really sad thing in all of this is like I said, we have some very new believers on our team, who also have family members who have just recently started attending our church. Because of the pettiness of the other team in starting the whole argument over a stupid game, some of those people left stating that they would not step foot in church again.
One of our team members had been trying for a very long time to get her mom, her 16 year old son and even her husband to attend church. And they had all begun attending and getting involved. But after yesterday her mom, her husband and her son said they were finished with not only the team, but with church!
After the whole grabbing incident, this woman's husband decided to leave and began walking down the road, his 16 year old son decided to follow after his dad so he wouldn't be walkin home alone. As he walked by the other team a couple of their people began harassing him and making comments like "some Christian you are, I don't think you are even a Christian."
Like I said this is a 16 year old kid who just recently began attending church, and because of those ignorant and judgmental comments will not come to church again. (Although I do know all things are possible with the Lord and I am praying and believing those who decided they want nothing to do with the church ever again will eventually realize it is about a relationship with Jesus and not the "church". I believe the Lord will heal those wounds and bring them back to Himself).
I told John last night after we got home, and were talking about how it is so unbelievable that the whole thing happened to begin with, that this was a major spiritual war and because, with the exception of one or two people, no one involved on either team is spiritually mature enough to not fall into the trap the enemy set so effectively last night. The goal of the enemy was to pull those away from the Lord who just recently became believers and those who were on the verge of becoming so, and unfortunately it was a battle the enemy won!
When believers allow pride, arrogance and a "win at any cost" attitude to rule their lives, it is not the Holy Spirit that is in control it is their own sinful selfish nature that is leading them.
There is irony in this sadly. Sunday mornings message was all about being a true winner, the title of the message was: "Winning...Letting Others Go First." The whole message was on living as Christ wants us to, in love and understanding, putting other's first. Jesus said to be the first will be last and the last will be first.
The last scripture reference on Sunday was: "God is working in you. He wants your plans and your acts to be in keeping with his good purpose. Do everything without finding fault or arguing. Then you will be pure and without blame. You will be children of God without fault in a sinful and evil world. Among the people of the world you shine like stars in the heavens." Philippians 2:13-15
Those who wanted to point out the "rules" or laws of the game are the very same people who talk always about how we live under grace and not law when it comes to being a Christian. And no one is perfect and every one falls but it's ok because we live under grace and God will forgive us when we sin because we are "not under the law". There were those on our team who use this "under grace not law" verbiage also to cover their faults yet those same people, as did those on the other team showed absolutely NO GRACE whatsoever to their brothers and sisters in Christ!
When it came to winning or losing the game on the other teams part, grace no longer existed.... only the "law".
When it came to being treated in a way that was unfair grace no longer existed...only anger.
There are those on both teams who claim to be spiritually mature, even those who are attending Christian College and Seminary or leading in one capacity or another in the church, yet those same "spiritually mature" Christians were the very ones who threw grace out the window, the spiritually mature Christians who, if they were as mature as they go around telling people they are should have KNOWN that what was going on was a spiritual battle and a ploy from the enemy to do damage to those who are as the bible says "babes in Christ" and those on the verge of making that choice. And to completely destroy the witness believers are suppose to live in the world before those who do not know Christ!
Almost everyone yesterday failed miserably living an example of Christ. The sad thing is those who were "talking smack" the most are probably the very people who do not and in all probability, will not see themselves as doing anything wrong. Spiritual denial is a very big problem with a lot of Christians today.
There were too many people on the other team who call themselves Christians who made it their goal to verbally express a judgement against certain people on our team saying they were not behaving as a Christian, all the while ignoring their own behavior as not being Christlike either. The old saying be careful when you point fingers at others because there are four more pointing right back at you!
The Bible tells yes we do live under grace and freedom in Christ, BUT that we are not to misuse that freedom or grace or do anything that will cause a weaker believer to fall or stumble.
1 Corinthians 10:23-24, 32 "I have the right to do anything," you say—but not everything is beneficial. "I have the right to do anything"—but not everything is constructive. No one should seek their own good, but the good of others.... whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God—even as I try to please everyone in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved"
The bottom line in this whole episode is it really doesn't matter who started it, who ended it or who would have won or not...the bottm line is it was suppose to a church softball game that involved fellowship and fun with a group of people who are SUPPOSE to be representing Jesus Christ. It was not even close to that! And in the end souls may very well have been lost, relationships with Christ were damaged and for NO other reason than Winning became priority and self-centered attitudes reigned free!
After seeing how people act when competition is involved I honestly do not believe any church should have competative sports leagues, fellowship and competition just do not go together for the simple reason we are all human beings and unless a person is completely surrendered to the Lordship of Christ and able to keep from having to win above anything else...it just is not worth the damage it can cause to other's relationships to the Lord.
This all happened last Monday and since then there has been a meetin with the church, this whole thing goes way beyond softball and sports but has more to do with people not walking in the light. Those who lied about what happened, gossiped about it all, slandered and participated in backbiting each other seem to have no accountablity...this is not about the church either it is about those in the church...just to clarify that.
I love my church and want desperately to seee things be the way God wants them to be...so I have learned in the past week to just let go...trust God...and know truth will prevail as well as justice and repentance.
On a side note: I told the Pastor and everyone I thought both teams should take a loss because both teams acted totally disgraceful...the Pastor agreed...but this is the other team was granted a win after there was a meeting and the "facts" were looked at...which is pretty much what caused this whole mess to begin with...their having to win no matter what and in a way...the leaders who handled this gave them exaclty what they wanted...and very little consequence for their part in this disgraceful mess.
And yes I confess I am having a hard time with some of the decisions that where made afterward and could use some prayer for how I feel at the moment..which is probably why the Lord had me end up here visiting my daughter when all the meetings and decisions were made. I am praising God though for my husband and just how spiritually mature he has been in handling this as well as trying to lead his team to react to all that has gone on the way Christ wants us too.
